Have you ever finished a meal only to find yourself snacking half an hour to an hour later? You are not alone! I hear countless stories from clients who have a tendency to snack after they've finished a meal, and most often, this meal is supper. So why are we still grabbing for snacks after we've eaten? Are we really still hungry, did our bodies not get what they needed throughout the day, or is it something else? "What am I doing wrong"!? This is the frantic cry I hear ALL the time. So lets take a look as to why one might be continually snacking or feel like they need to continue eating after a meal, particularly in the evening.
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Have you ever been in a situation when you can't figure out what to do? You may be starting up a business, entering into a new job, falling in love, starting to have kids, or experimenting different ways to eat. Whatever you are trying to do will always be accompanied by times and feelings of uncertainty. A lot of people (including myself) don't really care for uncertainty, yet everyone loves a good adventure. We love going on trips or vacations, spontaneity, and the thrills we get when we watch a movie full of suspense. If basically all human beings like a good adventure, then we offhandedly like uncertainty.
Now I don't negate the fact that there are those text book, A type personalities, that read the plots and outcomes of movies before they watch them, they look at dinner menus online before they go out to eat, and they read the last chapter of a fresh new novel before they begin the book, but even those people like a good adventure...they just want to know it's a good adventure before it begins.
The way we can embrace the uncertainty of life is to change the way we view uncertainty. When we look at uncertainty and we change the verbiage to something like "Life Unfolding", we can take a step back and look at the big picture. We are never going to know what's going to happen at every moment in life, but that's the adventure. Some circumstances are not fun, like experiencing illness, or the death of a loved one, losing your job, or going through a divorce, but in every situation Life continues to unfold for us.
Because I deal with people's eating behaviours, I see all kinds of uncertainty when it comes to the foods they eat and the way they consume them. I see uncertainty with the thoughts they have towards themselves or food, and I see uncertainty when we sit in a session together and I tell them to embrace uncertainty. But everyone loves a good adventure.
Eating challenges present us with a chance to view Life Unfolding in a tangible way. When I was bulimic, I used to hate myself after each episode, and although I no longer struggle with an eating disorder, I look at it now as being a teacher and a guide. My behaviours, though damaging both mentally and physically, were actually helping me at the same time. They were a continual wake up call from my body saying that it needed help. This was my experience with Life Unfolding.
What areas of your life cause you anxiety or stress because you're uncertain of the outcome?
What is the uncertainty of each situation trying to convey to you?
Most often, we are challenged with uncertainty because Life is calling us to trust, to have faith, and faith in something greater than just your own self. The interesting thing about trust and faith is that they physiologically put the body into a relaxation response (Ie: Rest and Digest), which is the exact opposite of the Fight or Flight response. When we are in Rest and Digest, we think clearly, we breath slower which increases oxygen to all organs and muscles efficiently, and we can be at our highest metabolic potential. When we are in fear or anxiety, Fight or Flight is turned on and we are no longer in Rest and Digest. Do you think your body could possibly be smart enough to try to get it into a state where it can be at it's most vibrant and healthiest place?? The answer is yes. The body is physiologically beckoning us to trust.
Stress and uncertainty will always present itself, but the more important question is how will present yourself before stress and uncertainty? Will you continue to live in fear, or will you trust that Life is calling you to a higher purpose and trying to convey a higher message?
Hello Readers!! I am happy to announce that I have officially graduated from The Institute for the Psychology of Eating and am a certified Eating Psychology Coach!! With the training from the institute under my belt and as I look forward into the future of my practice, I want to give everyone reading this a clear message of what I am all about as a practitioner, what my mission is, my vision for my practice, what my core thoughts and beliefs are, and what services I provide.
My Mission Statement
I help people understand how their relationship with food is a direct reflection to their relationship with life. To empower and enrich a deeper understanding of oneself, and to elicit powerful changes in the mind, body, and spirit.
I have this overwhelming sense of urgency to get the word out that we have been brainwashed by so many different mediums when it comes to the way we view food and the body. We have been taught to hate it, abuse it, criticize it, starve it, over-work it, and pick it apart piece by piece. The vision I have for my clients, as well as myself, is to help uncover the many lies and toxic thoughts that have been ingrained in us from a very early age, to start to discover the meanings behind the symptoms and challenges we face on a daily basis, and to equip you with simple yet powerful tools and strategies that will transform the body from the inside out.
My Core Beliefs
- Where the mind goes the man follows
- The way we eat is a reflection of how we live and vice versa
- Embracing change creates transformation
- Self chosen stress has to go
- Change comes from being more not doing more
- Quality of food = Quality of life
Where The Mind Goes The Man Follows
- Wherever you allow your mind to wander is exactly where you will go
- If you want to be successful in any area of your life, you have got to change the way that you think about life first and foremost
- Before we "train" our body, we must train the mind first
The Way We Eat Is A Reflection Of How We Live And Vice Versa
- We can tell a lot about ourselves by the way we choose food, and the way we consume food.
- By looking into this avenue, we can identify root problems we have with food and with self.
- Example: If I eat every meal as fast as I can, 9 times out of 10 I am living life at a high speed.
Embracing Change Creates Transformation
- If you cannot embrace change in life, how do you think you're body is going to change shape or health?
- Change is the flow of life. You can see this clearly and evidently through each season. The world constantly changes, it has a rhythm to it and that rhythm is change.
- The way we eat should be constantly changing and evolving through life. If you are under the impression that you should eat the same way forever, you are not going to see the change you want in your body or in your health.
Self Chosen Stress Has To Go
- Because the stress response has such powerful effects on the body, it is of the upmost importance that we rid ourselves of self chosen stress.
- Example: self deprecating beliefs, negativity, an unforgiving attitude, stressful thoughts about the body, the need to be famous or noticed, using exercise as punishment, etc...
- Stress will always present itself but the more important thing is how you present yourself while under stress.
Change Comes From Being More Not Doing More
- Change occurs when we embody, meaning when we are in our bodies. Everyone embodies differently but we disembody by many of the same ways.
- Example: preoccupying our minds with other peoples bodies or lives, comparing ourselves to others, constantly trying to change the body, ignoring the symptoms or challenges we have or by putting a bandaid on them instead of looking for the root causes, by refusing to be aware or present.
Quality Of Food = Quality Of Life
- No matter what you eat, eating the highest quality version of that food will yield powerful results.
- When we take the time to nourish ourselves with high quality food, our lives begin to reflect that quality in the way we conduct ourselves, dress ourselves, the thoughts we think, and the way we treat ourselves and those around us.
- Quality supersedes any diet plan.
- one-on-one Nutrition Coaching in person or over Skype
- Group meetings or lunch and learns for corporations
- Speaking at private events or health and wellness seminars
- Customized meal planning for individuality of lifestyle
- Eating Psychology Coaching
- Mood and food, immunity and the diet, chronic dieting, binge eating, over eating, weight gain, fatigue, macronutrient balance, meal timing, stress and weight gain, desires, sexuality, spirituality, and the many aspects of our lives that directly effect the way we eat.
I want to thank everyone for your continued support and openness to what I talk about. I know it's not as the rest of the world teaches, but I think we can all agree that what we've been doing isn't working. It's time to truly think out of the box!
The more I hear about different ways to lose weight, different diets to try to find that "perfect way of eating", or all the miracle pills, powders, surgeries, and strategies to help you finally lose that weight and achieve your full potential, the more I want to take a stand. I'm done being angry about contradicting information in the health industry because it will never go away. One day you'll hear that eating low fat is the way to go, the next day low fat is the worse thing you could do. One day coconut oil is better than anything else, the next day it's not. So with all of the contradicting information we have, what can we TRULY believe?
I will be discussing some of the most common "health" claims you've probably all heard at some point or another and explaining why they can be extremely deceiving and how some them are downright lies we've been fed to keep us unhealthy, overweight, and living in fear.
1. Exercise More + Eat Less = Weight loss
This is probably one of the biggest deceptions that we've been told when it comes to weight loss. And the worst part about it is that 90% of the world believes it. Does exercise burn calories? Yes. Does eating food add calories? Yes. But we are more than just calorie burning machines. We are organic human beings who need more than just a math equation to function optimally. I want everyone to know that I am in favour of movement. The body was created to move and to move beautifully and functionally. What I am not in favour of is how so many of us use exercise. We use it to punish the body into submission when we feel we have an extra pound or two to lose, we exercise out of a place of disgust with our bodies, and we create a stress response that will end up lasting for far too long. This means that the entire time we are exercising, we are creating an even bigger stress response and singling the body to stop the production of lean muscle and to start inhibiting the body of burning fat. If we are in this state, a state of self loath, our negative thinking creates stress in the body. Because exercise is a stress in itself (even though it's a good stress), and overabundance of it is a recipe for disaster. We tend to really go for it in the gym when we feel the need to be somewhere with our bodies, so we push and we push hard. The central nervous system literally takes a beating, the psyche takes a beating, and our hormones take a beating. Mix this with a low calorie diet used to "lose weight", and you have the perfect storm.
When you restrict the body of calories or any nutrients for that matter, the body becomes undernourished on every level and has no other option but to slow down. It slows down the metabolism to utilize the little food it's being given, it slows down the immune system because we aren't getting the vital nutrients we need for it to ward off infection, it slows down the digestive tract, the reproductive system, and it slows down the rate in which we burn fat and build muscle. The body is literally just trying to survive in this state. Not only are we physically undernourished, but we are emotionally and spiritually undernourished. This is itself perpetuates the already raging stress response that's going on.
Anything that puts the body in a stress response will inhibit its ability to shape shift. Period. When I talk to my clients about exercise, I encourage them to adopt the word "movement". Exercise has a very rushed and frantic connotation for most people, but movement gets us to tune into body wisdom and what the body needs specifically each day for each individual. Does that mean I don't agree with going to a gym to workout? Absolutely not. As long as it's for the right reason. Why are you exercising right now? Is it to lose that belly fat, trim your thighs, lift your butt? Or are you doing it for the health of your body? It's ok to want to look good, there's nothing wrong with wanting to put your best foot forward and feel sexy, but when it's done from a place of criticism and judgment, and a place of "not good enough", the body will predictably fight back. You won't lose the weight you want, your body won't change in a sustainable way, and you put your health and your body at risk for injury and disease.
2. No Pain/No Gain
I have lived a life of many struggles, and I always thought (and sometimes still do) that I've got to live life from one struggle to the next. I always thought that if I'm not struggling, I'm not making any progress, that everything has to be a fight. I found out that this was a very toxic belief that I had to purge. What happens in life when we live from one struggle to the next is our perception of success becomes dysfunctional. We then create unnecessary drama so that our situations feel more "normal" for us, and we sabotage our efforts. Consider this postulation though, life is not meant to be a struggle, but a journey.
This became very real for me when I chose to stop lifting weights. I had this no pain no gain mentality where I always had to work really hard, sacrifice my energy and time, my health, or whatever it took just to be "fit". While I continued to live in this routine, my body started to fight back and I gained weight. I would exercise even harder thinking that just a few more sets of exercises or twenty more minutes on the treadmill would do it, but to no avail. When I started to listen to what my body was telling me, I started to slow down (it pretty much forced me to). I started to walk instead of run, and I started doing Pilates. If you know anything about Pilates, you know that although it's not easy, it's defiantly not fast...it's slow...really slow. This was a big leap of faith for me to take. "What if I don't sweat each time, what if I don't feel my legs aching the next day, what if it doesn't make me gasp for air"?!?! These were all the thoughts going through my head. What happened when I finally let go? My body let go. I stopped weighing myself everyday, I stopped restricting my food intake, and I stopped compulsively exercising. I do Pilates 4 times a week, walk a few times a week, and eat food that is high quality and that gives me pleasure. This was my outcome. Needless to say, what I was doing wasn't working for me, and it would have continued to not work for me. It was only after I slowed down and listened to my body that I finally gave it the chance to change.
Another situation that this rang true for me was with the way I ate. I thought that I always had to be on some form of diet or another to truly get the body I wanted. With every diet I tried, I failed. Nothing worked sustainably, and it never would have. I started to eat foods that I enjoyed. Finally I was able to eat what my body truly needed and wanted, and what happened when I let go of my restrictions is that my body naturally gravitated towards certain foods and away from certain foods. I've always eaten healthy but I had all sorts of notions about "good" and "bad" foods. For example, one thing I found out was that my body doesn't like coconut, and that my body likes dairy. I don't care how many Paleo hacks say coconut is the miracle food, for my body, it's not. I react when I eat coconut, but when I cook with butter or cream, I don't get bloated and my tummy doesn't hurt. You tell me who's right, Paleo protocols or my body wisdom? Eating food doesn't have to be a struggle to get your body to where you want it to go. When we have pleasure (and I'll talk about the importance of pleasure in another article), the body switches from a stress response into a relaxation response. Does that mean I'm saying to gorge yourself on cookies and ice cream? No, no I am not, if you think that's what I'm saying, you need to grow up. But the body was designed to receive pleasure. The moral of the story, I work diligently at what I do, but I don't kill myself. I do some form of exercise 5-6 times a week but I don't brake my back to do it. I eat healthy, high quality food that I prepare with love, but I eat what I want and what my body says it needs on any given day. I do not follow one specific diet, I refuse to live in extremity anymore.
It's time we start putting a little more faith and trust in our bodies. It is trying to relay information to you all the time, we are just too busy to give it a word in edge wise. It doesn't matter what any weight loss or diet strategy claims, it won't work if it's going against what your body actually needs. When we put faith in our body wisdom, we activate the relaxation response and turn off the stress response. This just so happens to be the state where the body naturally lets go of unnecessary weight and is able to function optimally on every level.
I think that we can all agree that in today's society, we have never been more overweight, sick, and unsatisfied than we've ever been. We have never had the technology that we currently have, we've never had the recourses that we have, and we over consume food day in and day out. So if we have everything we could possibly need and more, why are we as humans so insatiable? When it comes to our priorities, we are a mess. We place money, fame, and ego at the forefront, and everything else that truly makes up who we are on the back burner. I noticed this while I was walking in the mall the other day. Now I have to admit, I am really into fashion and absolutely love getting new clothes, but I find my insatiability for clothing comes the more I set my first and most important priority on looking good or seeking outward approval.
While looking at Summer 2015 fashion, I noticed that Fall 2015 fashion is already coming out. In fact, they were having "sneak peaks" at Fall 2015 in May! Now I know that in the fashion industry, you have to be "fashion forward", but it's getting ridiculous. While I appreciate Fall fashion as much as the next girl, I also appreciate enjoying the summer as well and not rushing though it. So as I'm trying to enjoy and relax in my Summer attire, I'm being bombarded by consumerism saying that "I need the next best up and coming wardrobe"...for a season that's 4 months away?? This is what I call insatiableness. We are never satisfied with what we have and we are always looking for the next best thing. We are rushing forward and forever living in the future (or the past), but never being here, being in the now. How did we get here?
I guess you could blame a lot on the media, and sure, the media plays a key role, but I believe it's our priorities. The trouble we face when we simply blame the media, is that we take zero responsibility for our own actions and behaviours and pin the accountability on someone or something else. The truth is that no one can make you feel or do anything, you consciously or subconsciously make the choice to allow or permit others to make you feel a certain way or do certain things.
The outcome of insatiability can come in many different circumstances and vary according to behaviour and mindset. Someone who puts their first priority on outward approval may chronically over exercise and in turn will become insatiable with that particular action. They are never strong enough, fast enough, thin enough, etc. Their diets reflect their insatiability by displaying extremity and an eternal dissatisfaction. They can never find the "right diet" and will be forever searching of new ways to cleanse and rid their bodies of toxins they believe they have all in efforts to achieve the "perfect body" and gain the worlds approval.
We all want people to like us or "approve of us" to some extent or another, but when we place our first priority on it, we become insatiable. Money can be the same, when our first priority is money we predictably become insatiable for it. We never have enough, we always need more. What we place our priorities on will become either building blocks for our success or something that will tear down our inner peace and joy for life.
One thing that I find interesting is that when I am done writing a blog, helping a client, or having a deep and meaningful conversation with someone, I don't feel or leave "hungry". In fact, I leave full. Full of life, full of energy, full of compassion, and ready to take on the world. I feel satiated. How can that be? Because my focus is not on me. When we focus on Me, we live in our ego, and our ego is insatiable. When we focus on others, we live in our spirit instead.
At the end of the day you have to ask yourself what your priorities really are. You have to ask yourself and look deep down inside in the areas you feel insatiable. Are you forever unhappy with your body, with your marriage, with your diet, with your job? If you answered yes, then the problem is not what you're unhappy with, the problem is that your priorities are solely on you.
If you are unhappy, you've made your entire world about you. It revolves around you, the sun rises and sets on you, and you put yourself before anyone else. You blame your unhappiness on what others do or think and you make everything about you. It's time to grow up and see the world for what it is. If you are insatiable in any area, you've missed the mark.
What areas are you insatiable in?
What are your top 3 priorities in life?
Do they contribute or detract from your insatiability?
Our focus needs to be greater than just put own needs being met. We have relationships and community for a purpose, and it's a purpose that's greater than just you. You play a role in society but you aren't the be all and end all of it.
I've had this scratching feeling on the inside since I started my studies through The Institute for the Psychology of Eating. The feeling that leaves me so deeply moved to say something is the feeling of being fed up. I'm fed up with all the lies we've been fed and manipulated to believe around food and body, I'm fed up with mass producing companies claiming to be healthy, low fat diets, eating less/exercising more protocols, and focusing on weight loss first before focusing on what's happening inside of us. I'm fed up with a lot, but most of all I'm fed up with people hating their bodies, beating themselves up in the gym, starving themselves, not diving deeper into themselves, tricking, playing, restricting, measuring, weighing, pinching, poking, and dismissing themselves. When will we all get what life is really about? We teach what we need to learn....
I'm at fault too, no one is immune to this way of thinking and behaving, not even me, especially not me. I have been through physical, emotional, and verbal hell against myself when it comes to my body and the way I eat. You name it, I've tried it, all in the name of "something greater". Ask me about any diet, I've done it and I've put countless people on programs just like them, all in attempt to finally be happy. That's the goal isn't it, To happy? Though we continue to learn and progress in our knowledge everyday, this I know for certain:
Happiness is not in the future
Happiness is not in the extra 0-25lbs you want to lose, happiness is not in the gym putting on muscle, it's not in the new shiny car, or in a pair of skinny jeans. Happiness doesn't come when, happiness comes now. This is what we've been made to believe, that happiness will only come when .... you fill in the blank.
I've been so skinny and still hated my body, I wanted to kill myself at one point I hated me so much. I may have been ultra thin but it wasn't because I was the poster child of health (even though that's what I claimed to be). I would workout twice a day and claim to be this big health nut, but then go and sniff coke and throw up everything I ate at the end of the day just to keep my slender figure and my inner world numb. Does that sound like happiness? What kind of life is that? Do you want to live like that if it would mean you were this unrealistic size or shape?
I'm fed up with people believing that every skinny person walking around is the most happy, vibrant, sensual, loving person they can be because more often than not, this couldn't be further from the truth. Does that mean all skinny people are unhappy? Of course it doesn't, that's not what I'm saying, but I am saying that whether skinny or bigger, if you hate your body now you will hate your body then, regardless of it's shape.
There will always be something for you to pick apart when it comes to your body, always. Every time we flip through a magazine or turn on the tv we are reminded of how unworthy we are, not matter what you look like. There's always someone who's thinner, prettier, richer, taller, shorter, more symmetrical, has nicer hair, bigger muscles, a small nose, straighter teeth, whiter teeth, nicer clothes, bigger house, nicer car etc... The list goes on. When will you finally be happy?
Happiness is not when, happiness is now. If you live a life of comparison, or with your appearance being your most important goal, you've completely missed the mark and your life is as shallow as a bed pan. When will we all get past the surface and get deeper with ourselves, with our lives?
I am not immune to it either, just so you know that I know that I'm not. I'm just fed up with an unending strive for something that never comes. I'm done letting the world dictate how I should look, think, feel, act, or talk. I'm fed up with conforming for the sake of pleasing people who don't truly care for me and who have no interest in seeing me for who I truly am, which is more than my body. Your body is an expression of you, it doesn't define you. If your identity is solely in the way you look, it's time to grow up and open your eyes. Life is more than just creating your appearance, life is about creating happiness as you are right now.
It's interesting how many times you hear the phrase "opposites attract" when talking about relationships. While this does happen a lot of the time, I think there is a certain danger in surrounding yourself closely with people who have views, opinions, and lifestyle choices that are opposing to your own, or to where you want to get to in life eventually. I'm not saying that your views are the "be all and end all", and that you shouldn't listen to anyone that talks outside of your views (because that would be very narrow minded), but what I am saying is to be conscious of how close we get to those who are not headed in the same direction in life as we want to go. This isn't being cold or mean to people, but it's about knowing what you want and the route you need to take to get there.
I battled a drug/alcohol addiction from the age of 17-21, and the more I surrounded myself with people who were using drugs, the more I in turn wanted to use. This is not rocket science, because I am the sum of the people I hang around with. If I am trying to change my lifestyle, eat healthier, exercise more, spend more time with family, meditate or pray more, or whatever your goal is, then wouldn't it be more advantageous to surround myself with people who are doing those things? This sounds like common sense, but as my friend Ashley said last night "common sense isn't so common anymore".
In a successful relationship, be it romantic or plutonic, both people have to relatively be on the same page. I believe that we are truly attracted to those who possess qualities that we want more of in our own lives, and that we gravitate towards those who challenge us to be a better version of ourselves. To then get into a serious relationship with someone who is completely different from who we are, and the way we conduct ourselves, is a recipe for disaster.
What does this all have to do with nutrition? If you want to be successful in your eating and lifestyle choices, you have got to surround yourself with like minded individuals. If you wanted to stop drinking, you probably wouldn't be hanging out in bars every weekend, would you? The key to success is creating an environment around that supports the growth of your goals, while at the same time, not making provision for temptations. You get to create your own environment, no one else chooses that for you. If you're not finding the success you want, then maybe it's because you've created a lacking environment.
It's time to take some accountability for the choices you have made and the responsibility to change what isn't benefitting you. I'm not saying that you should stop talking to people who don't eat healthy or exercise, please don't think I mean that. Just be careful who let close to you because, you are the sum of those you hang around with. Birds of a feather flock together, so choose your flock wisely. Opposites attract, but choose opposites that possess qualities you already have, but want more of.
Well, we've come to the end of the success series. Here are the last 5 tips to help prepare your body, mind, and spirit to be the most successful version of yourself that you can be. Thanks for giving my articles a read, and for everyone that gave me great advice. It's a beautiful thing when you have people around who will support you, challenge you, and mentor you.
- Embrace Change
We are an ever evolving society, and if you aren’t willing to evolve along with the times, you will stay stuck in the past as everyone else advances. The one constant we have in life is change, I’ve said that before, and you have to look at change with an open mind and be willing to get out of your comfort zone. Being unwilling to accept and embrace change will only stunt your growth and deter you from success. A sign of true health is being able to adapt to any given situation. If you cannot adapt when something changes, or refuse to step out of your box, you automatically lose by default.
- Be Thankful
Learn to develop an attitude of gratitude. When you remain thankful, you don’t take anything for granted. People are turned off by arrogance, or those who exalt themselves. It’s important to live life with a humble posture and to not become prideful. The prideful will fall and the humble will be raised up.
- Share Information And Data
“One person is generous and yet grows wealthier, but another withholds more than he should and comes to poverty”. If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to share with people. If you keep all the information you have learnt to yourself, what good is it? People can sense sincerity, and if you don’t want to sincerely help people and are only motivated by money, people will sense that and won’t want to contribute to your success. People don’t want to be seen as walking dollar signs, they want to know someone is there to help them.
- Continually Educate Yourself
There is no greater power than knowledge. To be the best you can be in your specific area, you have to be knowledgeable, and that takes education. You don't necessarily have to go and get a PhD in something, but learn from those in your field of interest that know what you need to know. Successful people are productive people with a passion to learn, and to learn continuously. Spend your time doing things that contribute to your success. Listen to podcasts, read, write, and keep learning. Fill your time with education. There is no maintenance in life, if you aren't learning, you are going backwards. Don't ever think you know it all.
“Love never fails”. This is probably the most important key to becoming successful. When we love and value, not only others, but ourselves, we create a safe environment to grow successfully. If you don’t love yourself, you will never put yourself in a place where you can truly flourish because you won’t think you’re worth the effort. You have to believe it to your core that you are worth the effort, and you are worth loving yourself so much that you couldn’t bare to let yourself not succeed. Shout out to my wonderful Grandparents. You got this whole love thing down pat xoxox!
Continuing on with the next 5 pieces of advice to becoming and staying successful in work, in relationships, and in life. I have gotten so much inspiration over the past few weeks from the people I'm surrounded with everyday and am so thankful.
- Live Each Day With The Purpose To Be The Best
Chad Smith, Senior Vice President of Catch Engineering, and a personal client of mine said this, “If you want to be successful, be the best at whatever you do. It doesn’t matter what you want to do, you could be a janitor, that doesn’t matter. But if you’re gonna be a janitor, aim to be the best damn janitor there is”. Life seems pretty bleak when there is no purpose. Purpose yourself to do what you love for work. It’s your choice to do whatever you want to do. If you hate your job, work somewhere else, it’s really that simple. You will never want to be the best you can be working at a job that you don’t love because you aren’t working with a purpose, you’re merely working for a paycheck only.
- Be Willing To Put In Time
One of my favourite quotes was said by Estee Lauder, founder of one of the most widely known women’s skin care line, said “I never dreamed of success, I worked for it”. If you want to slack off in life and never put in any hard work, you don’t deserve to reap the benefits that come from putting in an effort. I’m not saying you have to run yourself to the ground each and every day, but you will have to determine within yourself to put in countless hours at work. One of my clients, as a partner in her firm, mother of 3 small girls, and one of the hardest workers I know says this: “Pick one goal and go after it with everything you have in you. If that means you have to work 80 hours a week to reach that goal, that's what it means. And you have to be willing to sacrifice things along the way, like your time”.
- Don’t Say No To Opportunities
This is a piece of advice I got from my client who has been with me the longest at my current place of work. He doesn't talk a lot, but when he does, it's worth shutting your mouth to listen. “Never turn down opportunities, but on the same hand you have to build consistency. You don't want to be jumping from one thing to the next, job after job. If I look at someone's CV and they haven't built any amount of tenure, I'll toss it to the side”. You have to be willing to do things that you don't feel like doing, but actually should be doing that contribute to your success, especially in the beginning. Work now to play later.
- Celebrate With Others When They Succeed
One of the most helpful pieces of advice I’ve received is this; “There’s enough to success to go around, and just because one person is successful doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. There’s enough pieces of the pie to go around for everyone”. When you trample over people to become more successful, you will fall, and you will fall hard sooner or later. This is the big secret, success is not a fight between people, or being better than someone else, it’s about working with people to create something greater than you could create on your own. Team up with people, feed off each others victories, and celebrate in someone elses success.
- Don’t Neglect Your Health
Thomas C. Corley, author of his #1 bestselling book, Rich Habits – The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, says “Wealthy people are healthy people”. When people are physically healthy, their productivity levels remain high because they aren’t fighting off sickness or disease. If you are constantly missing work because you’re sick, you are making less money than those who are working. Generally, people who are successful have educated themselves and have learned that physical activity and a diet that's high in nutrients will help them succeed at work and in life, whether they're thinking about that consciously or subconsciously. Eating clean and exercising are your life insurance. Utilize them.
I am blessed to work with some of Calgary's most successful people, both financially and personally. I train CEO's, Engineers, Lawyers, Partners, and many others. I'm in contact with some of the most brilliant people in the world, I truly believe that. These people are hard workers, entrepreneurs, and high achievers, and I get to pick their brains everyday. I have been working on a list of qualities and advice on the keys to becoming successful from theses brilliant minds. I've gotten a lot of information so I am going to do a 3 part series of success.
- Have a Vision
“Without a vision, the people perish”. In order to be successful in life, you need to have a clear vision of how you want your life to be. Everyone’s definition of success is different, and each one of us have a special role that we play here on earth, and because we are all very different, it’s important to set out just who you want to be and where you want to go. You can get ideas from others that have gone before you, but ultimately, your life will look different. If you do not have a vision for your life, you will never live up to the person you were created to be. Sit down with a pen and paper and write it down. Post it on your bathroom mirror so you can see it every day and start to work towards making your dreams become your reality. You cannot just simply dream without taking any action and expect to achieve results.
- Keep Your Life Balanced
Successful people are balanced people. Yes there are very rich, stressed out people who work long hours, but remember, the definition for success isn’t just having a ton of money. To be truly successful means having a life you are proud of at the end of each day. If you spend all your time working and neglect your family or friends, you are not fully successful. Set aside some time each week to do something that is not work related. For me, I call a friend or family member just to chat, even if it’s only for 10 min. Take vacations when you feel burnt out. Buy something nice for yourself after a profitable month.
- Laugh In The Face Of Adversity
If you think there are never going to be hard times that come your way, you are sadly mistaken. When we are going in the right direction is most often when we come against the greatest adversity. If you are facing a trial in your life, it’s most likely because you’re on the path to something great. When you are doing what you’re meant to be doing in life, it will initially come effortlessly and the chips just kind of fall into place, but there will be people or things that come against you that test your dedication.
- Get Back Up After You Fall
One of the world’s most famous and successful pop vocalists, Beyonce Knowles, quoted this in her song, “Perfection is a disease of a nation”. Perfectionism has been the thorn in people’s sides for a long time, and the cause of their demise. A perfectionist thinks that they should never fail, but failure is one of our greatest tools to learn from. When we fail, we get the opportunity to get back up, to create strength and determination. Failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing, failure is a learning tool, so accept the fact that you will fail. Be ok with getting knocked down, but don’t be ok with staying knocked down.
- Surround Yourself With Positive People
Your level of success is determined by the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who complain all the time, people who are negative, and people who are unsuccessful in life, it will rub off on you eventually. People’s attitudes are contagious so it’s crucial that you surround yourself with people who have positive and successful attitudes. If you want to be inspired, get around people who are driven, who laugh, who put others first, and who have a strong work ethic. Get around people who motivate you, those people that, when you leave after having a conversation with them, you have a renewed zeal for life, get around those people.